The Excellent Wife - Chapter 1

      I have been extremely blessed by growing up in a Christian home.  I have loving parents and siblings and was raised with family worship every day and church every Sunday morning and Wednesday night. Someone once asked me if I was raised by a pastor with consistent biblical teaching how I even knew when I was saved.  I was young when this question was posed to me and I'm not sure how I answered the question then but I know how I would answer now.  There is a difference between someone teaching you the Word of God and the importance of salvation and knowing it yourself.  There is a difference between hearing the truth of the Gospel and understanding it in your heart.  I was about nine years old when the Lord saved my dead and depraved heart.  I still remember kneeling at my bed and praying for God to save me and I still remember being so nervous when I went into my father's room to tell him I wanted to be baptized. (It's different when your Dad is your pastor too!)  I am so thankful that the Lord worked in my heart and brought me from the dead to His amazing light, grace and love.  I am also very ashamed at how long of a journey its been, how hard it has been for me to take the principals, standards and laws of God into my own heart.  It has been surprisingly difficult to make a matter of what I know a matter of the heart, but the promises of God are sure and faithful!  He has been a merciful Savior to bring me where I am now and to continue to teach and guide me to His word.  I am thankful that He has brought me safe thus far to a point where my heart longs to learn how to serve and love my husband.  Praise be to God that He has provided for us older women to learn from! So begins my read through Chapter 1.  

         I'll be honest, love is not at all what I thought and imagined it would be while growing up.  I read far too many romance novels (as my Mom can attest too) and listened to Delilah way too often.  Yes, it's true my Dad took away Delilah radio privileges and also our "Titanic" soundtrack.  I'm pretty sure we broke the record for how many times you can listen to "My Heart Will Go On" and wasted way too many tears over it.  So when Martha Peace shared how God had answered her prayers by giving her a deep love for her husband it really made me think.  I will tell anyone and everyone from the roof tops that my husband is the love of my life and my soul mate, but I also know that my love for him is small and selfish because it comes from a weak and sinful heart.  Reading this chapter made me realize that I need to really evaluate not only my love for my husband but also the state of my heart in this love.  I want to love him by submitting to him, serving him and sacrificing for him.  In these first few years of marriage I have truly felt sometimes like I was losing my identity in him.  It's not easy submitting to someone else or trusting that they know whats best, but that is in fact what we as wives are called to do.  Is there any greater calling than to lose your life and find yourself alive in Christ?  It truly is beautiful how God has arranged every element of marriage for our benefit and His glory!

          Martha Peace continues on in the chapter discussing next what the will of God is for every wife, a focused ministry to her husband.  I lovingly refer to this particular section as "Conviction 101".  I have to quote her here because nothing else will do. "Her husband should be the primary benefactor of his wife's time and energy, not the recipient of what may be left over at the end of the day."  As my hubby has recently switched to a night shift this truth is more critical to me now than it ever has been before.  I work full time as a boutique manager for probably the greatest boss ever.  He respects my priority to my husband, never asks me to do anything out of the range of submission and gives me Sundays off.  This all makes my role as a wife so much more simple.  There are certainly days when I feel exhausted, discouraged, frustrated and discontent but all these things need to be set aside when I come home.  I need to not simply give my husband whatever I have been able to pull together on the drive home, he is to have the best of me.  This means putting away with just a happy face and all lip service.  It means I must truly have a happy heart of service to my husband.  Practically?  I need to listen and really listen when he speaks to me.  I need to engage, not just simply nod and shake my head, but immerse myself in the conversation and care about what he is communicating to me.  I need to clean, cook, work out and whatever else we might need to do that night without murmuring or complaining.  And let me tell you after a long day at work complaining is one of my favorite things to do.  I also need to realize that if I don't start working on this now, I won't have a flying chance once I am (Lord willing) a stay at home mom!

       Thankfully, dear Martha doesn't leave me here.  She continues through the end of the chapter dealing with the fact that in spite of my totally depraved heart, I have hope.  God has not left me alone in this task, He has provided a Helper!  "If you love Me, keep My commandments.  And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever --- the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him or knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.  I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you."  (John 14:15-18) She encourages me to place my confidence in God and His faithfulness.  Does His character ever change?  He enables me through the Spirit to obey His commandments and to submit to my husband!  So thankful for the reminder that God provides and that He knew exactly what He was doing when He placed me in the arms of my husband.

        So as I finish reading this chapter I am left again to pray, pray over Proverbs 31, pray for my dear husband who has the daunting task of leading a sinner as I and pray that together God may use us for His glory!

"As a beautiful flower in the light of the morning sun reflects the glory of God's creation, an excellent wife reflects God's glory by her attitudes and actions."

-M. Peace